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Barbers’ Wisdom

So along with being our occasional commentor Michael’s birthday and a belated 4th of July celebration (with flags and barbeques no less) with all the family, it was also Haircut Day today. I’m making the usual small talk with Jamie, the new guy (as opposed to Alan, who has been cutting my hair ever since my Dad decided to stop inflicting that particular brand of torture), when I mention that along with my usual seasonal allergic rhinitis, I also have a belter of a sore throat.

He pauses mid-cut. “Do you have any money on you?”, he asks.

“Uh, yeah.” I’m a little perturbed by the insinuation I’m going to welsh on the six quid for the haircut.

“Right. After this, go buy yourself some Crabbies green ginger wine and some black spiced rum. Put about this much [indicates 2′ with his thumb and forefinger] wine in a glass, and the same amount of rum. Slug it back. Cures anything: colds, sore throats, ‘flu – anything.”

“Green ginger wine and black rum.”

“Spiced black rum, aye.”

“And slug it back?”

“Aye. A good slug of that will cure anything. My granddad swore by the stuff. Never got ill. Whenever he felt a cold or an illness coming on he’d take some of that and it would keep him fit. He died at 87. Died in a car crash.”

“I’m sorry”.

“I felt something coming on last week, had a slug of that, and I was fine.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

“Aye. The proof is in the pudding as they say.”

“Aye. I’ll give it a try.”

“It’s also good if you want to get pished.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at that. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to go out and buy the ingredients right away as I only had a tenner on me, but if this sore throat lasts till tomorrow – and it will, if the last couple of weeks are anything to go by – I’m going to give this remedy a try.

It may just be the Elixir of Life after all.

(Note: the title for this post was originally going to be Something for the Weekend)

Edit: Of course, when I say today, I of course mean yesterday. That’s only cause it’s technically after 12. 4 hours after 12. Still. Oh, and the Barbers’ is not a typo.

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