Despite what you’re thinking, I haven’t lost my mind due to lack of sleep. Though I’m ashamed to admit it, I’ve finally gotten around to planting the pineapple plant (Ananas comosus) I got roughly a year ago today.

Now, it may look less than healthy, but that’s only because it has been sealed in a probably-airtight plastic capsule for 365 days. I’m frankly amazed that’s it has survived for so long. And yes, it has survived. Once I’d planted it and covered it with a pierced sheet of polythene (okay, cling film) a healthy layer of condensation formed. For the uninitiated, that means the plant is respiring. Which means it’s alive. Either that or it’s releasing a lot of stored water vapour…

I’m going to err on the side of optimism, conclude it is alive and nurture it as such. You don’t see many pineapple plants growing in the balmy baltic Scottish climate. We may not have the tropical weather of Brazil, but I’m going to try damn hard to grow this thing. I’ve made a great start by isolating it for a year for, uh, quarantine reasons. Now to watch it grow, then in 1-2 years enjoy… a pineapple. I can hardly wait…

I would regale you, all three of my lucky readers, with pictures of said plant but – alas – my camera is not playing nice at the moment. It’s maybe for the best, as if you saw the poor plant, you really would have to do me for neglect.

Eeva, I hope you were reading this.

Edit: Solely to prove me wrong, my camera sprung to life as I pushed the “publish” button. Please enjoy the following photos of my little plant. I think you’ll agree they are works of art.

Pineapples 1

My plant. Ignore the yellow / brown leaves.

Pineapples 2

The plant with cling film covering. If you look really carefully, you can see a little condensation. It’s there, trust me.